Hello everyone Nosy Nigerian here, brief status update sorry for the delayed postings, we’ve been having technical difficulties with both my personalities always clashing so now we’ll be having a change of name and hopefully a change of pace. With that aside we’re going to jump right in to the coolest big screen movies coming out this year, their faults, their laughs and why we’re gonna see them anyway.
2o years and still re-making, our favorite scantily clad ponytailed archaeologist/martial arts specialist/gymnast/ammunitions expert is back in yet another action-packed hit. If the trailer is anything to go by, it will probably have a lot of it’s initial scenes cut out but retain enough of the original plot and mysticism left to not totally suck. Watch Lara croft as she goes on a long journey fraught with perils and puzzles in search of her long lost father…Again.
What was a dynamic story about teenage amnesiacs trapped in a seemingly unending maze turned post-apocalyptic thriller featuring science experimentation has now come forth with a third part. And you will not believe this, but they are still running. If Vampire diaries has taught us anything, it’s that a frustratingly roundabout plot in a world with no realistic grounding can almost always be fixed with reasonably handsome lead characters, intrinsically detailed graphics and a good camera angle…almost.
It’s the year 2045 and virtual reality is now…disturbingly realistic. For those of us who have the looming fear of technology taking over and humanity abandoning the beauty of the world for it, then this is definitely the movie for you. Happy Nightmares. Warner Bros definitely outdid themselves on the graphics this time hopefully we won’t be having any cgi mouths or mustaches…oh...different company.
War ready and still in production we have the epic retelling of Transformers versus Godzilla. I give you, The Pacific rim movie without Idris Elba…greeeat. But apparently wiz kids’ voice will be having a cameo so shout out to our boy the main actor…whatever his name is… Moving on..
Next we have...this movie who someone definitely thought out properly before putting it in production. Follow a little an innocent little girl and her equally under-aged friends as they break the unbreakable laws of science and travel to an unnamed fifth dimension aiding totally non-suspicious characters in a fight against an unknown “evil energy” using unexplained “light energy” in order to rescue her presumably dead father…. But hey I hear Oprah’s in it so that definitely makes this a winner.
The book that became a movie about this girl in this big ship that met a bigger ship and ran but ultimately got swallowed up . And honestly I think we’ve had enough movies with the word “Mortal” in it, stop trying to make it sound cool. It’s like mad max all over again.
This name… sucks. The trailers are amazing and it honestly looks like a big screen movie but I cannot for the life of me understand this name. I mean I get the underlying reference to evolution and the destruction of life to kick start its recreation via violent re-evolution but still…they couldn’t come up with a better name?
This is basically Barbie princess and the Nutcracker only it’s not called that and the plot is almost entirely different plus she doesn’t have blonde hair so it kinda seems like Disney’s’ trying to sneak past a re-make but it’s Disney so… oh well right? Just please please please don’t ruin our childhood fantasies with unnecessary melodrama.
Introducing the tenth installment of Harry potter with a trailer that gives zero details about what the movie is actually about but what’s the worse that can happen right? Last last they’ll just make an eleventh installment to fill in the growing plot holes. But it’s harry potter so we’re still gonna watch it anyways.
Following in the footsteps of Paddington bear we have peter rabbit, a no-nonsense country bunny who has to protect his old home from a new human. The animation features amazing dialogue, cut scenes and cute animal interventions. Good luck peter, and hopefully we’ll be seeing you in the cinema’s this year. If the date doesn’t get moved for no reason I mean.
Yours truly,
-Nosy Nigerian
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